Yesterday, the wife of one of my favorite patients reached out to me. Letting me know my patient Mr. T passed away last night. It’s the phone call we physicians dread the most.
After all, we are in the business of helping people extend their lives and better their lives.
I gave my deep condolences to the wife. But, at night couldn’t help but shrug the feeling off.
I have been with Palm Beach Diabetes for nearly ten years now as an Endocrinologist. I remembered many such phone calls I have received over the years. I remembered all those faces vividly: when they were so full of life, in my office, smiling, laughing, cracking jokes at their unfortunate medical outcomes, facing adversity with grit, determination, and poise. Don’t get me wrong, there is no shortage of disappointment, despair, hopelessness, anger, and frustration as patients go through difficult diagnoses and even more challenging treatments. But when they are in front of me, I can offer medical advice, hope, a comforting touch, and a listening ear. But the final and definite nature of a phone call like this is …it feels different.
We physicians do what we do, because we really started out with intentions of making that difference. We commit to a lifelong career of learning, long hours, time away from family, student loans, hard work because, this relationship one gets to have with their patients.
Mr. T could have chosen to go to any other endocrinologist. He chose to place his trust in me. He trusted that the medical advice I gave him, would not only help him prolong his life but make it more meaningful. At the end of this ten-year-long relationship, I have faith that my every interaction with him I really gave my best shot. I did the best I could to achieve this mutual goal. We physicians have little control over many factors that govern our patients' lives but we have control over what we can do to help patients to the best of our ability, when they are in front of us…for that day, for that moment, on that phone call. I am so grateful for all my patients including Mr. T, who have chosen to place their trust in me. I am forever striving to keep up my end of the promise to take care of them to the best of my abilities.
Today, I will sleep with a smile on my face, because I know Mr. T will agree with this sentiment. He is at peace and I am comforted by the fact, that where our lives’ paths intersected, it has been joyous and fulfilling to have met each other.